I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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