i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
