remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize