I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
