he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
