dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
