Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
