I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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