remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just found puke in my bra..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
