K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So much rum. So many feels.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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