yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
