So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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