someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
