i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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