We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
