Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
