i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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