people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
