Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
