put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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