apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize