$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
