Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize