Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
