Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
