Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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