Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
