To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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