I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
