STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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