So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
