??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
