I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
