so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
try to milk me bitch
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
