I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
