This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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