Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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