doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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