i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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