Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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