So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize