1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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