I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
