lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
