Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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