I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
