he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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