Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
