Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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