need another drink. this is the easiest way
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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