It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
