Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
