That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
