Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
