As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
