I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
