We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
