I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
