he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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