Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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