i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
