i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
