and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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